Two thousand and Fifteen footprints

No seizure-causing vocabularies, no bridges over volcanoes, no masks on shadows, just me being crystal clear like the sky in the spring.

Frankly, I’ve been extremely reluctant in penning down my journey this year as I felt it was one of my most complicated years and I was most misunderstood but just to quench the childish frenzy of my fingers, here we go…

2015… in summary, all I can say is “Wow”. It was quite a year indeed. While others walked into this year like Tom Cruise walking out of an explosion with the whole glasses thing going on, I rather peeked first, then walked in extremely cautious. 1^st January 2015, I remember scrolling down my phone, checking how many New Year messages I got and how many calls I received. Quite a few, I would say, as the previous year had caused numerous stabs to me and mine. It took me a while, but I finally got in the spirit of the year, open, long list of expectations and of course, hopes without gravity. And then, there I was, expecting the best like a blindfolded kid whose parents hired Disney world to celebrate his 10^th birthday. But just before mid-year, it all came crashing down so fast, I quit explaining myself to people because the rate at which I was misunderstood was off the charts, my friendship and relationship chart would form a long list of the letter, M. It became unbearable that I had to take weeks of compulsory solitude so I’d not completely lose my sanity…to mention the mildest of my resolutions. I engaged myself in a lot of other activities which I really want to write, but my fingers just have a mind of their own. I got hit on all sides- educationally, pressure from school (final exams and project) was asphyxiating; spiritually, I was staggering; emotionally, look at all these scars, I was dead, all my heart did was all it was created for- pumping blood; physically, I lost 6kg, almost gave out my favourite suit; mentally, the streets suddenly seemed so beautiful; name it, I was a lost case. I gave up trying to gather the pieces, as it seemed like a waste of energy, I just let the wind decide our rendezvous points.

But hold on, it wasn’t all sad news, I had my moments. In 2015, I graduated with a Chemical Engineering degree (I love saying it this way because… I mean, you know). I made a group of odd friends who turned out to be the reason why the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover” exists, I reconnected with some very old ones too. I started getting paid for what I do for fun, ignore the details here please…lol. I took some time out to do a self-initiated #iTour programme which involved me visiting different states of the country. I got a new suit and shoe!!! You would understand the excitement if you were over 6ft tall with a shoe size of 46, oh, the struggle. I began my service year in November.

Life began to have a meaning all over again by the second half of the year. I found my smile, I found my rhythm, I found my niche and I found my music. This didn’t happen by just sitting and letting the jigsaw play itself, I made another attempt to own my life. I had to make tougher decisions, I had to fight one more time. It caused more pain, more tears, more hatred, more heartbreaks (not for me though, because I actually didn’t think I had a heart at that point). But it was worth it at the end. I finally got my wish for 2014- to be happy, no matter the cost- I was happy.

After reading an ode to 2015 by my friend, Ms. DHK, I think I’ll do just the same thing she’s up to, entering the new year with a blank slate, I mean, where’s the fun in knowing? So at this point, I raise my half full glass (literally, as I couldn’t wait to end this), and here’s to 2015, to my bad decisions, bad relationships, bad addictions (just swerve), every heart aching moment, every person that contributed to building my emotional grave, you helped me write this story, your work is done, thank you. And to 2016, I just bought my Tom Cruise glasses…